For Spoonies, Chronic Illness Warriors, and Anyone Running on a Red Energy Battery
Some days, living with chronic illness feels like trying to breathe underwater. You wake up already exhausted. Your body aches in places you didn’t choose. Your mind feels foggy, and your entire being simply feels drained. And the world keeps asking you to show up like everyone else – pushing and grinding and accomplishing.
If you’re in one of those days right now, we see you. We feel you, and we’re right there with you.
It’s on those quiet “I can’t do this” days that you have to be kinder and even gentler to yourself on the days you feel good. You have to tell yourself that you’re doing your absolute best and that is ok. You’re enough even if you’re not accomplishing anything but going to the restroom.
And, on those days, you must remember that you’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re not broken (even if your body feels that way). You’re not alone.
You’re a unique and special human being going through something others don’t understand. You are fighting to get healthier while trying to stabilize your future, and that is not easy.
Here are five gentle reminders of what to do on those days when you’ve already run out of spoons, and you haven’t even had cereal yet.
1. Lower the bar — way lower.
You know those days when getting out of bed or combing your hair feels like climbing a mountain? On days like that, the goal isn’t to get it all done. It isn’t even the most productive. The goal is to be kind to yourself. To be merciful to how hard you’re trying, as you remember that you’re doing your best.
Lower the bar. Then lower it again. If the only thing you accomplish today is feeding yourself, taking your meds, sending one text, or simply existing on the couch, that is enough. Survival is valid work. Rest is essential work. Most importantly, your value is not measured in what you accomplish.
2. Ask: “What does my body need right now?”
Chronic illness makes you an expert at pushing through. But on the hardest of days, tuning in instead of toughing it out can change everything.
Ask yourself:
- Can I take my meds or try other remedies to help me cope?
- Do I need rest? A warm bath? A heating pad?
- Am I hungry or thirsty?
- Am I in pain and pretending I’m not?
- Do I need to journal?
- Do I need someone to know I’m struggling?
Whatever you need, take care of that need now. Be your own best supporter. Treat yourself like a best friend would because you are that friend.
3. Give yourself permission to pause the mission.
This one is tough for ambitious, hard-working spoonies who are carrying responsibilities (hi, entrepreneurs, caregivers, and recovering perfectionists).
But listen:
Your body is not a machine on factory settings that you can turn on and off and get to work the way you want it to.
If you need to pause your work for a day, delay an errand, cancel a plan, unplug from social media, or simply cancel the day, it’s ok. You need to take care of yourself without guilt; it doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. It also doesn’t mean that you’ll never succeed. It just means you need a pause. You need a bit more time. You need to go a bit slower and sometimes not at all. Most importantly, you have to protect the version of you who keeps going tomorrow.
Permission to take a time-out is survival. It is not laziness.
4. Complete one itsy bitsy tiny but hopeful thing.
Not a whole goal. Not an entire plan. Just one tiny piece of light to hold onto.
Maybe it’s:
- A text message you’ve been meaning to write
- Applying for one work-at-home position
- Editing one sentence on your resume
- Curling up with a soft blanket
- Watching a funny TV show you’ve seen 100 times
- Texting yourself a message that says, “You matter”
- Cuddling with a beloved pet
- Lying down as you listen to music
- Writing a single sentence in your journal
Whatever you feel like doing. Do that one thing and then stop. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. Sometimes it’s just a flicker. But a flicker is enough to remind you you’re still here and trying hard.
Today is your gold star day. You’ve earned it.
5. Remember: today is not the whole story.
Pain lies. Fatigue lies. Depression lies. They tell you this moment is permanent, that you’ll always feel this way, that you should give up. But these symptoms are chapters, not conclusions. You can’t let lies steal your life or your happiness.
You’ve survived every single hard day you’ve ever had.
You are surviving this one, too.
Even on the days when you feel broken, you are still becoming — learning yourself, learning your limits, knowing your strength.
You don’t have to “feel strong” to be strong. Sometimes you can feel lousy and give into that lousiness as long as you don’t give up.
If no one told you today, I’m proud of you.
Not because you powered through. But because you showed up for yourself in whatever way you could. Even reading this article counts as effort on a day when everything feels heavy.
You’re doing the best you can with the spoons you have. And that’s enough — always.